Despite living here for 2 and a half years, I have only recently been invited on my first kurdish picnic. We had talked about going many times, with me suggesting we make some cakes, savoury turkish pastries and go to the poppy fields at the back of our houses. My suggestions were always met with a look of confusion, and until we actually launched ‘Operation Picnic’, I never understood why. In the UK, a typical picnic would probably consist of some sandwiches, crisps, cakes and soft drinks, that sort of thing. All the equipment required being some plastic plates, cups and a picnic blanket. All the picnics I have been on we generally set off around lunch time, stay for a couple of hours and go home. I was somewhat surprised when my husband’s sister in law, Head of Operation Picnic, told me that we would be setting off at 9am. I have a tendency to go with the flow here, so after a late night baking biscuits as my contribution, I was up at 7am, showered and ready to go. As nobody had managed to acquire plastic plates, we had come to the agreement that everyone would take normal plates from their house for themselves and their children. So I loaded up a bag with glasses, plates, cutlery and other essentials and popped over the corridor to where it was all going on. I walked into the kitchen to see a huge sack of fresh bread, a bucket packed full of chicken wings, several gigantic bottles of coke, bags full of salad ingredients and my sister in law making rice in a pan the size of a bass drum. When the rice was done we all filed outside and loaded ourselves up with various bags and equipment. I felt somewhat lucky when we set off to only be carrying a salad bag and my own bag. Compared to someone else carrying the 21kg of chicken wings, and someone carrying the rice drum, it seemed I had been let off lightly. I had absolutely no idea where we were going so just followed everyone else and tried to keep up, although I had to keep stopping for my nearly 3 year old who is not a fan of walking. I wish I had got my camera out at this point as I really think we were a sight to behold, a long line of us reminiscent of ants, everyone carrying various picnic paraphernalia, even the children were carrying parts of the barbecue or bottles of coke. I realised where we were going when we completely bypassed the field I assumed we were going to, behind our houses there is a complex of apartments, they have never been lived in and it is completely derelict, but it has a lovely garden and a park for children to play in. It is regularly used by the people around here but I personally had never been before. As we weaved our way through what seemed to be a wheat field, my youngest decided she couldn’t walk anymore, so I carried the salad bag, by which point was leaving indents in my hand, my own bag and my 20 month old the rest of the way. All this whilst wearing flip flops and being stabbed in the feet by various thorns and nettles. Its safe to say by the time we eventually arrived at the picnic area, I was thoroughly fed up and feeling dishevelled. However, I was the only one feeling this way and nobody else seemed to have bothered. One of the times when I truly did feel very British! They set up a huge blanket on the floor, and started a couple of fires. This was when Operation Picnic came into its own, everyone took different jobs, I appointed myself as Chief Photographer and went about taking pictures of everybody hard at work. A couple of women were making salad, a couple were barbecuing chicken, myself and my friend were making a chicken dish with peppers and onions. After a couple of hours we were all ready to sit down to eat, the food was absolutely out of this world with barbecued chicken wings, chicken with peppers and onions, rice and salad accompanied by glasses of coke and fanta. Everyone stuffed themselves to bursting point and cleared the area to make way for the tea, biscuits and sunflower seeds. After all, what meal would be complete without the obligatory çay at the end of it? As we were coming to the end of the huge bag of sunflower seeds, my sister in law stood up, brushing off sunflower seed shells and announced that she was going to play on the park. I was, once again, somewhat confused but in my usual style followed the rest of them to the small park where the children had been happily playing for hours. Next thing I knew, the adults were playing on the seesaws and the slides. We were all in hysterics, particularly when someone fell off the seesaw, we all rushed to her aid but not before taking a couple of pictures! After about half an hour of playing and taking pictures in the flowers, it was a time for a game. The game consisted of two teams, placing three large rocks about half a metre apart one behind each other, on two sides opposite one another. The aim of the game is to knock the rocks over, using smaller rocks. They all beckoned me over and placed me in a team, despite my protests but I am glad they did. We had so much fun playing what was seemingly such a simple game and I was surprised at how into it some quieter members of the family got. After many rounds of the game and much rock throwing, we decided to pack up and began the trek home. We trudged home carrying an assortment of leftover food, used plates and tired children. The sun was out in full force and I could feel myself starting to turn my usual flattering shade of pillar-box red. The walk home seemed to take even longer than the walk there, which is usually the case when you’re hot and exhausted, but soon enough we were back home. I’m not sure of a time when I have been happier to see my house and air conditioning. I flopped myself onto the sofa and reflected on what a good day had been had by all and despite the aching arms and the sunburn I hoped that we would do it all again soon. 
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything. I promised a follow up on the mini holiday we had when my parents visited and due to one thing and another, it never came to be! I will write up on the more memorable moments when I have the time and post them here for all to see.
When I started this blog, my 3rd daughter was a 4 month old baby, who was quite content to sit in her bouncy chair and nap for the majority of the day. When she wasn’t napping or feeding, she was happy to have some tummy time on her mat. Then she started to sit up, next came the crawling and a week before her first birthday she was walking. And all of a sudden my free time became a lot more limited. I had less and less time to write and also found myself lacking in inspiration.
Now my youngest child is going to be 2 in August, she is more content to play with her sisters and I have more time to be updating the blog and have finally beaten the writer’s block. Despite having lived here for nearly 3 years, I find myself experiencing new things every week, if not every day and would love to continue sharing those experiences with you all.
“The past is a ghost, the future a dream. All we ever have is now.” – Bill Cosby
Waking up to a house that was full of noise made an extremely pleasant change from my daily routine, normally I wake to silence, occasionally with the exception of the sound of children’s television programmes or a cow mooing outside my bedroom. But the house was full of sound, and people. Rather than my usual lengthy 20 minute getting dressed process, I was dressed in minutes and offering to make breakfast, as it was nobody was hungry and decided we would eat lunch out after dropping our eldest daughter at school. As we walked into town we first decided that we would see if there was somewhere to hire a car, my parents had visited İdil the year before and due to us not being able to drive we don’t have a car, and barring one day out to Midyat, stayed in the town fort he duration of their stay, they didnt complain about the lack of things to do and see but we all agreed it would be beneficial to hire a car and see some of the many cultural attractions there are around these parts. After getting several quotes and having a delicious lunch, we proceeded to go shopping, we ended up coming home with a toy box, nest of tables, a plastic chair, a TV unit and a tumble dryer. The latter two were gifts from my parents and what a difference that dryer has made to my life! I no longer have to wait 2 days for things to dry on the airer, so stiff you could knock someone out with them! We came home and I proceeded to make Lentil soup for dinner – one of my least favourite meals, but a hit with the rest of the family – and workmen brought our new dryer. As with everything here, nothing could be simple so we had my father in law and sister-in-law, Arçelik and Vestel all arrive at the same time. Finally towards the evening we all settled down to get an early night as we had planned to go to Cizre the day after for my dad’s 50th Birthday which I shall be writing about in my next post!
Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten. – David Ogden Stiers
Its been a while since I’ve written anything and I would be lying if I said it was for any reason other than I simply didnt have anything exciting enough to share! However, I am pleased to say that I have had 10 days holiday, I have been a tourist in my own town and the surrounding areas, with a little help from my parents, husband and children.
On Wednesday 19th February, my mum and dad arrived in İdil and we were all so excited. Our middle child, who is 20 months old, was by my side as I opened the door and none of us shall forget the look of awe on her face as her Nana who had previously been inside the laptop was stood on our doorstep. She was then swiftly brushed aside by our eldest, who flew into her grandmother’s arms for a hug whilst my dad stood in the corridor laden with bags and buggies.
I had prepared a lovely pasta bake for our dinner so after everyone was in and settled down on the sofa, I went to put the oven on to reheat it, and no such luck. The oven had given up and was not turning on for anyone or anything. With the help of sister in laws oven, dinner was saved and the oven fiasco promptly forgotten. As the evening marched on, with gift giving, day trip planning, laughter and of course, plenty of tea, we all grew weary from excitement and decided to go to bed. Ready to wake up early for the first day of our holiday.
“We need no language to laugh” ― Janaki Sooriyarachchi
Oh my God, where have they brought me to? I didn’t even want to come on holiday, and here I am, in what appears to be some sort of grubby, has-been resort. I’ve been trying to remain positive and I’m so grateful that my parents allowed me to bring a friend, but it really isn’t what I expected at all. We’re sat in some sort of awning attached to the main restaurant. My mum’s oldest friend is here with us, she is infact the reason we’re here, she has lived in Bodrum for a good few years now. She walks absolutely everywhere and has lost so much weight, her skin golden brown from the sun, she looks healthy and happy.
We decide to take a trip down to the shops to buy some water to keep in our rooms, and I can’t figure out why everyone is staring at us? I don’t know why they’re looking and it’s making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. It’s not endearing me to the country at all. Turkey. I knew we should have gone somewhere normal like Spain. Rain starts drizzling and we hurry back to our rooms with our large bottles of water. We freshen up ready for dinner. Black skinny jeans, black top, matching my black hair – and my mood – ,a little bit of make up and we’re ready to go.
We step into the restaurant and are guided to a table almost immediately, its good service here if nothing else. We went to look at the dinner choices and entered a side room with trays and trays of food. Chicken with vegetables, mince with aubergines, mountains of steaming hot rice, baskets full of fresh bread, every type of salad you could dare to imagine and more. I fill my plate with plain pasta, it’s not that I’m a fussy eater, I’m just not overly hungry. I start to walk back to the table and all of a sudden we are plunged into darkness.
“Amy? Lizzy?” I heard my mum call. “We’re here” I reply as I see Lizzy standing next to me. We stand for a moment not really knowing what to do, the surroundings are still unfamiliar and we don’t really know how to get back to our tables with no lights. Then came the rumbling thunder and a flash of lightning. In the dark, everything seems louder and I can hear the rain bouncing off the awning roof. Someone lights a candle and leads us back to our table and we sit down. We begin to eat our food in the blackness when all of a sudden there’s light and the shattering of glass. The electric was back, and a lightbulb had burst next to Lizzy’s head. Before we had time to do anything, a waiter came hurrying over to clean up the glass. He moved the chairs and bent down to sweep it up, as he did so he kept glancing at me. He stands up and says to me with the biggest smile on his face “I’m Mat, what is your name?”. I look around self consciously and mutter “Amy”. “Okay Emmi, enjoy your meal” and with that he wandered off.
We’re sat in reception now, its raining so we can’t sit outside and we don’t want to sit in the restaurant so we’ve little choice. I’m so bored and all I want to do is go to bed but I know I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway so we’re playıng one of those silly word games. I’m halfway through trying to remember ‘what grandma bought at the market’ when my mum, dad and Lizzy all start laughing at me. “Why are you laughing?!” I said half giggling. “That waiter from before has just put a flower in your hair!” came the reply from my mum. I look over and he’s standing at reception looking at me. I reach up and feel the flowers in my hair and as I pull them out and glance over to him again, he winks at me, laughing to himself and despite myself, I find myself laughing back.
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” – Alice Walker
Recently, I was asking online about the possibility of acquiring a UK spouse visa for my husband without meeting the, quite frankly, ridiculous financial requirements. It was then that someone advised me to look up something called the Surindher Singh route, I did immediately and was astounded by what I found. It just seemed to good to be true, I would be able to bring my husband over to the UK, not subjected to any agonising waits to find out whether you have been granted the visa or not. I spent days combing through pictures of Ireland, Malta and Germany, researching job opportunities and rental properties. I spent weeks imagining a life in the UK, where I can take the children to Mum and Baby groups, take them to Soft Play centres and spend hours socialising with my friends. I spent weeks pestering and nagging my husband, spouting all sorts of figures and facts at every opportunity. I was buzzing.
We spent hours debating all the positives and negatives of both moving and staying here, many a sleepless night thinking over the options. One minute I couldn’t be more excited about the thought of leaving and in the next, I didn’t want to go anywhere. After everything, we finally decided on Germany due to having in-laws there who would help us with official paperwork, finding a job and a flat. The only thing left to do was to break the news to my husband’s elder brother. We weren’t sure how the family would react to the news and we were both nervous, more so my husband as he was the one who would actually be doing the talking.
After a bad day where everything felt as if it was against me, I was sat in the lounge watching television when I heard the key in the front door and knew that he was home. As he came into the room he said “I have a surprise for you, we’re going to Germany”. I looked at him and whispered my reply “You told them?”. He then explained to me that his brothers would be upset to see us go but were willing to contact friends in Germany who would help us when we arrived. When he had finished speaking I looked into his eyes and knew in that moment that he didn’t want us to leave here, he had so many fears and reservations, but was willing to give it all up for me.
We didn’t speak about the move for a few days after that, after the weeks of consideration I was now beginning to doubt my own judgement and really assess whether I wanted to do this or not. The more I thought about upping sticks to a completely different country where neither myself nor my husband speak more than 2 words of the language, it filled me with fear. Then to make our way back to the UK, with no house and no guarantee of a job. All of this with 3 small children in tow. I realise most people aren’t lucky like us and don’t start married life with a house that they own and a job handed to them on a plate but we have been truly spoilt, and to move to the UK would mean giving it all up and not being able to come back if things didn’t work out.
I realised that although I’m not 100% in love with İdil, nor will I ever be, it has become my home. I have somewhat of a love-hate relationship with this town and whilst sometimes I shall sit on my own at night in the darkness, muttering profanities because the electric has gone off once again. I can’t imagine going back to life in the UK because when it comes down to it, I know I have the potential to be happy here and I have always felt safe. Having said all that I still felt I needed to find something to keep my brain active, away from the dullness of daily chores, and since a job isn’t an option as I still have my children to care for, I started this blog. When I first moved to İdil I said to my husband that I wanted to write a book on my experiences, but just had no idea where to start. This blog is my first tiny step hopefully in the right direction of writing that book. Since writing this blog a mere 3 weeks ago, I have met some really amazing people through the power of Social Networking, some that I hope I shall be in contact with for a long time to come. Thank you to all of my readers, all of the support gives me the motivation and strength to continue writing, and most importantly, to stay in İdil.
“Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” – Helen Keller
It’s been a hectic and busy few days, my birthday and christmas over and done with which I am relieved about! They don’t celebrate birthdays here and my husband was working, it’s still very snowy here which makes it difficult to get out of the house with the double pram so I spent most of the day on the Internet enjoying the virtual party one lovely lady created for me. Big thank you to Fatma for arranging it and to everyone who attended and sent birthday wishes.
As planned I woke up very early on Christmas morning, after very little sleep thanks to an unsettled baby girl all night, I laid out a Christmas tablecloth on the floor and put out the presents for my two older children. I then started preparing breakfast, I made the girls a Father Christmas pancake each using my artistic skills, chocolate buttons, Turkish cotton candy and jam. We Skyped with my family back in the UK and after all the presents were opened and breakfast had been eaten, it was back to being a normal day. It was nothing like Christmas in the UK but it never will be, but it was enjoyable all the same.
Today is the last day of 2013 and it’s been an eventful year, saying goodbye to my Grandmother in May, saying hello to my gorgeous baby girl in August and lots of other more minor events. I look forward to a quieter year in 2014 and one full of positivity if I can manage it. I tend to be quite a negative person and I have finally realised that life is what you make it, if I want to be happy, I will be. I am very lucky to have what I have, a roof over my head, my health, a husband who loves me unconditionally and 3 healthy, beautiful children.
It is so easy in life to get sucked into the materialistic aspects of living in a modern world, coveting the latest games console or laptop. “Needing” the newest Iphone despite your current mobile being in perfect working order. I, myself, am completely guilty of doing these things, always wanting something new and forgetting about those who have absolutely nothing. forgetting about those who have lost their families, their homes and the world they’ve always known. forgetting about those who don’t even have enough clean water to drink on a daily basis. A week or so ago, our water pipes froze due to the extremely cold conditions here at the moment and for around 8 hours we had no water to drink. It was then that it really hit home, whilst I was sat complaining that we had no water for most of the day, and still had access to bottles of water from our shop, that some people in the world have absolutely no water, clean or dirty, ever. I feel the same stab of guilt when the electric that we rely so heavily upon goes, I realise I am completely lost without electric and here,where it can be off for hours at a time, I feel we are hard done to. I feel guilty and ashamed, when I complain to my husband that he didn’t bring me a bar of chocolate home or that I miss KFC back home. I look in our cupboards that are full of food and realise we never go hungry, and there are some in the world that are never released from the agony that is starvation.
My main New Years resolution is to a better person and to be thankful for all those things I have been blessed with. I’m not saying I shall never buy anything for myself ever again or never again want something that isn’t completely neccessary, but I will strive to be more grateful and when I think myself unlucky, realise that I have everything that many in the world can only dream of ever having. I want to give something back to the world, as the world has given so much to me.
I wish all of you, far and near, a very Happy New Year and may it bring all that you wish for.
Yeni yılınız kutlu olsun.
Sersala we piroz be.
All I Need – Sami Yusuf
“I love Christmas, not just because of the presents but because of all the decorations and lights and the warmth of the season.” – Ashley Tisdale
HE’S BEEN! I can see the presents poking out of the top of my stocking at the end of my bed! I might just go and have a quick peek and then get to sleep, I don’t know what time it is but I know its early, Mum might not be too pleased if she knows I’m awake at this hour. I’m rifling through and there’s allsorts in here! It’s all wrapped up though, right time to get back to sleep definitely..
I hear Mum open her bedroom door and I’m still sat staring longingly at my stocking.. “How long have you been up? Why didn’t you wake me?” she says to me. “Well I thought you’d be mad if I woke you up this early!” I reply.” How could I be mad? its Christmas day!” And that was all the encouragement I need, I leaped up and dragged my stocking through to my mum and dads room.
It was time to go downstairs, Father Christmas had brought my stocking so I’m sure theres some more presents for us all in the lounge! I really hope I get the cassette player I wanted. We’re downstairs, my mum goes first to check that hes definitely been and he has! I go ınto the room and my eyes instantly focus on my pile of presents and i’m so excited! My mum and brothers both sit down whilst my dad makes cups of tea and pate on toast, we open our cards whilst he does that. My dad is back and we take it in turns to open a present each until there’s none left. I havent got my cassette player, Father Christmas must have forgotten.
I sit in the lounge playing with my new toys and looking at everything and my brothers are eating shortbread and chocolates. Mum and dad are getting the big christmas dinner ready. They all seem more bothered about the food than the presents! I wonder ıf ı wıll be lıke that when I’m older?
We sit around the big table together, pulling crackers and putting on silly hats, swapping the novelty gifts with each other and eating the huge lunch my mum and dad have prepared. It’s lovely and so nice being altogether and happy. We have a Roast dinner every Sunday but there’s just something special about today.
After dinner we all sit in the lounge and watch allsorts on the TV, even though we are stil full from lunch we pass round big tins of celebrations and snack on nuts. My mum goes upstairs for a bit and comes back down with another present! “Father Christmas left this one in my bedroom by mistake!” It’s for me, I open it and it’s the cassette player. I knew he wouldn’t have forgotten!
In the evening my mum makes turkey sandwiches and we have crisps, dip, biscuits and cheese. We tidy our presents away and its time for bed. I lie in bed fighting sleep because if I go to sleep, ıt won’t be Christmas anymore and its by far my favourite day of the year.
Christmas as a child is just so magical, and for me that’s what makes me miss christmas so much being here in Turkey. If i didn’t have my children it may not bother me so much, or it may, I’m not sure. But its remembering all the amazing times I had at Christmas as a child that really makes me miss England at this time of year.
Walking down a street and seeing everyone’s christmas trees lit up through the Windows, wreathes on the doors and there’s always that one house that goes over the top with christmas lights! Visiting relatives and having the obligatory mince pie or three, going to christmas markets and festivals and the general atmosphere and a sense of excitement everywhere you go.
Last year was my first christmas away from home, I had no decorations, no presents and nobody even knew what it was here so I decided to ignore the fact it was christmas at all and carry on as any normal day. My husband spent one christmas with us in the UK and although he enjoyed it, I don’t think he quite got what the fuss was about and as it isn’t a holiday here, he was working anyway. But its not the Christmasses of recent years that make me miss it, Its the chıldhood christmasses, believing with all my heart that Father Christmas was real, all the build up and excitement that made for a truly magical month. I want that for my children, I want them to have the same experiences as I did at Christmas when I was young. So this year, thanks to lots of kind friends and family back in the UK, who have sent us decorations and other christmassy bits and pieces, we will be having a special breakfast on the big day. Complete with presents, special food and treats whilst we skype with my family back in England, as they just can’t wait to see my 3 girls’ faces when they wake up in the morning on 25th December 2013.
Christmas for me, is about tradition and being surrounded by family. A day of warmth, love, happiness and enjoying yourselves. I will truly enjoy every second of my daughters’ excitement in 3 days time and will savour every single second. As we don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or the day after. We only have one life and we have to live it. I wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and hope wherever you are in the world, you have a day filled with love and family, as that’s how it should be.
I’ve written this poem in memory of my beautiful Grandmother who passed away in May this year.
We’re missing you this christmas,
The first since youve been gone,
We’ve missed you every day,
Every single one.
But there’s something about christmas,
That makes us miss you more,
Not the turkey, the decoratıons,
Not the presents on the floor.
It’s the warmth and the love,
That everyone seems to show,
Around this time of year,
That makes us miss you so,
And even shed a tear.
We know we’ll never hear your laugh,
Or see your smile again.
And that’s what makes us sad.
But to know you’re here with us in our hearts,
Is the best present we’ve ever had.
Sami Yusuf – Wherever you are
Me, myself and İdil 